Poems for my Children on Mother's Day

  Poems for my Children on Mother’s Day

By Katie Coons 2022

To My Children

I have become a mother

Motherhood means

My life laid down for you

Freely

At that moment 

You came into being

Bone of my bone

Flesh of my flesh

Shrouded in mystery

My body,

Mine to give

To your father, to you

Your entire life I have kept you

In my love

First, in my body

Feminine in very essence- 

womb to hold life-nurture, feed, protect

A sacred space for you to take shape in form of fingers, toes

Green-blue eyes and freckles on your nose

You have been formed in me by 

the mystery LOVE

A power immeasurable,

  Infinite Beauty, yet born like you

Into a receptive mother’s womb

You are 

Fearfully

and Wonderfully

MADE

Firstborn

Daughter

My instructor of motherhood

You made yourself very known

Very early

I, who always pushed limits 

And possibilities

Ventured across oceans and continents

Free as a bird, challenger of status quo

Suddenly held

A life from my life— yet separate

I marvel that my body

Held You

Another soul.  Held Infinity.

My body, a home to a miracle

From first knowledge of You, 

Your father sung lullaby off key and named you

“The Lord Shall increase, and Beautiful”

And we sang 

“I will declare the Beauty of the Lord”

My fierce spirit turned its passion to your protection

And I must share with you the darkest evil I know

You were conceived in a land that 

Silenced heartbeats of baby girls

Before they could draw a breath

Simply because of their beautiful feminine DNA

My mama heart turned warrior

To protect you

To lay down my strong will for independence 

So that you may have life

My identity, my dreams, my vision for my life

Was to challenge others

To be “Fully Alive”

It worked itself out in exotic adventures

And freedom to my own pursuits

To push the limits of my body

It was a harsh reality five up my first race

I realized the truth

I would never be the same

Letting go of life dreams- a death to grieve

YET

The wonder of what life grew inside of me

That my body could grow

 a real flesh and blood, spirit and soul

Infinitely more real than dreams

Swept that giving-up-of-self grief away

So my heart could accept the wonder of your life

And my beautiful one,

I was quite over-ready to give you birth

As I marched the paths of the Summer Palace

And over the bridges of Beijing

Through the gates of the maternity hospital

A 30 hour labor- yes- rightly named work

A 5 day hospital stay

I gave birth to you Josanna Mei

And my heart enlarged

A hundred Fold

My life found new meaning 

As Mother

Protector

Provider

Nurturer

These amazing instincts born in me when you emerged

And drew

First breath in new lungs

Infinite Wonder

My Son

Who is named laughter and blessing

And beloved of the Lord

I have never been more shocked and surprised

Completely caught off guard

By your insistent persistence 

To BE

Your announcement to my newly maternal body

Only 7 months post partum

That you existed too

Proved your definite determination

And brought me to the end of myself (and still does)

Within seven months I had

given birth

given up my job

moved across the world

started a new school

started a new life

and found myself mother of 2

O Canada, you gifted me a son

Forced me to find friends quickly

And opened up my needy heart to 

Fears I had never known before

“Where will we live? How will we afford another child?”

“How will we finish school? How will we pay the bills?

Accepting you, my son caused me to also

Accept grace gifts of new found friends

To share laughter and tears

Your being brought utter dependence on outside powers

You created space for me

to   l o o s e n 

the tightgrip I had on 

Myself, my needs, my losses of dreams,

friends,      place,      vocation

Lots of change in a short time

My pregnancy is a blur

But the night your were born

We had only moments

 to pass your sister through the open car window 

to a friend waiting on the sidewalk at 3 am

As we drove to the hospital

Your head emerging

As we arrived

Fast and furious

You were born with a smile on your face

Your brought such joy

You smiled your way though 

Days, weeks and months

We quickly learned to become parents of two

Where a stroller could not go I learned to carry you on my front, 

Your sister on my back and we were a family of four

I didn’t know one person could smile so much

You melted every heart that saw you

Smiled your way though custom when we crossed oceans to Asia

Flirted with stewardesses flight companions 

Your mischief my boy——

We had to lock toilet seats, cupboards

And especially doors, 

though somehow you managed escape at

The worst of times

I was beside myself keeping you safe

I love your playful mind-

Inquisitive about everything

I know you are sandwiched between sisters

And they drive you crazy

Even so, you are gifts to one another

Someday my son, you will be a man

Remember your name “You are the Beloved”

Remember “Laughter”

You make my mama heart grow strong

God’s Grace Gift

Daughter of mine, my third child

Namesake of two grandmothers

You are like them

Fierce blood of female lifesavers runs thick in your veins

Artists, full of Witt and strong determination

You live like them

like me.

We longed a long time for you

As soon as I discovered your life 

we thought we had lost you

when I woke to blood everywhere- 

you only eight weeks old

Our family, 

Now in Shanghai (yet another cross-continental move) 

Fought for your life

An ultrasound revealed a heartbeat

Your's beat strong- from your very conception

My body, home for the eternal

Was once again gifted 

a girl 

Feeling unprepared

            crossing continents with slim suitcases

Was gifted more than I could every imagine

lacked nothing for your arrival, 

and rested for 30 days, well fed

You were so loved and cared for by Ayi

 and all others from every corner of the globe

Friends held a baby shower for me

Flags across the room spoke 

“FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS”

— such a time as this to for you to be born

For the world to know someone that is you

Full of fire in your soul

Full of love for your friends and for this world

Such a time as this for me to be a mother

Together we feel deeply,  fight for justice

 hold beauty and ideas

Speak up for what is right 

Speak up for LIFE 

I am grateful that you are alive

For what you will become

A gift of God, A gift of Grace

Elizabeth Jean